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History

From the time of Kamehameha the honored cooks who prepared the Kings meals were held in the highest esteem. Only the best, most talented and favored cooks were allowed to prepare sacred birds in the traditional style of their ancestors known as Huli Huli. These cooks prepared Huli Huli chicken exclusively for the King and his family. Peasants, beggars, lepers, murders, real estate brokers and other undesirables were forbidden from eating the delicacy. The Kings cooks were called Bobs.

According to an ancient scroll:

"Many tall yellow hairds pestered Bob to allow them to taste the holy chicken"

So it was then that the last recorded Bob in Hawaiian history made a fatal mistake. He allowed commoners to taste Huli Huli. As this was strictly forbidden by the Gods, the King and all that was holy, Bob was punished severely for his indiscretion and banished from the kingdom forever.

Bob, like many Hawaiian words has several meanings. The two common translations are "Skateboard stranger in blue helmet" and "One who flips the bird" Upon Bobs exile both meanings were stricken from the Hawaiian language and all records of Bobs were erased from Hawaiian history. Bob set sail with a heavy heart from his island home in 1815 under orders of King Kamehameha who wept with his people as Bob sailed into the unknown with his chickens.

Bobs dutiful and loving wife Menene wanted to leave the comfort and security of the island to join Bob in his journey. However, she was forced to remain as she had two listing appointments, a hut inspection and a Hoscue Restage situation that all demanded her attention.

Thousands renounced the King and joined Bob on his voyage. They followed Bob from island to island as he spread the word of the Huli Huli. Sailing the South Pacific, they left behind their families, friends and took only their smart phones and tablets. Bob lead his loyal followers with the promise of a better life. A life without winter in a land of lush green valleys. Where plump, happy chickens bathe and frolic in rivers overflowing with Huli Hlui sauce. Where Coors trees grow tall and heavy with frosty cans and wives always believe their husbands are funny and interesting.

Those that remained behind began to question the wisdom of the King as their loyalty turned toward Bob and his chickens. Before all was lost and to prevent an early return of winter King Kamehameha in a show of magnanimity released a single homing chicken with a note pleading for Bob to return.

The chicken indeed found Bob and Bob returned with his followers and all was well again in paradise. Menene and their beautiful daughters and grand children were reunited with their patriarch. The King regained the love of his people. The day of Bobs return has forever since been known as "The Day of the Bob" This day is still celebrated by all civilized people around the world each October 21st and Bob remains a hero to the Hawaiian people to this day.

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